In 2020 I found myself on a plane to Oregon during the summer. It just happened ok. I was going on vacation with a friend and their family and it was during the middle of the pandemic. “Is he crazy?” Is probably what you’re asking yourself right now.
Maybe I am.
However, what isn’t crazy is the experience that I had. It was very educational. So it’ll be educational for you too.
When I landed in Oregon, I got familiar with the family—had dinner, talked, and drank. During that conversation, I found out that the place we were going for vacation was a lake resort. The family had a nice boat and it was time to take that bad boy out again.
But.
I’ve never been to a lake.
My black ass had never been to a lake.
I didn’t even know how to swim.
Still, I was really excited to go. Maybe I could learn how to swim.
On the morning of the trip, we packed up everything and hit the road. I was really looking forward to this new experience. It was my first time on the west coast, which was a place that I would always dream about. The resort was in northern California, so it was a nice little hump from Oregon. On our way there I found myself staring out of the window. Just seeing the terrain was enough to make me grin.
I moved my head from side to side. Seeing mountains, trees, and hills. Then I looked to my right and saw an unfortunate picture. A countryside that was charred and ruinous. This was the result of previous wildfires that swept rampantly through the trees.
Regardless, I was enamored.
We drove for a couple more hours, then we arrived at the resort. As we were pulling in, we were under the shadow of these huge trees. I am not really sure what kind they were. During that time we were driving further into the place and then we started to see some houses.
Let me tell you something.
These houses were glorious There were boats parked out front and American Flags dancing in the wind— Basically like an opening scene to those 80s movies teen movies or horror movies (depending on how you look at it). You know, because it’s a lake and whatnot.
Let’s get back on track here.
Our designated spot was pretty close to the lake. We parked, then the boat got taken down to the water to get docked. I stepped out of the car and boy, it felt like I was dropped right into a frying pan.
It was that hot.
Seriously, I'm pretty sure the sun was only targeting me. Punishing me for taking this trip during the height of the pandemic.
Anyway, we go to the place to check-in. After that, it was time to go down to the water for a dip.
Was I nervous you ask? No, but it’s funny being the only one who can’t swim. However, the good part is that I wanted to learn.
In order to get to the water, we had to walk down this path. The path was full of rocks and had steps that looked like they were carved in 2000 BC. They protruded right out of the earth. As we were walking down I was trying to get into the right mindset for the water.
That was hard because I spent most of that time trying to keep my footing. I had on sandals, so it was tough (toes must’ve been stronger back then). The water grew closer and closer. Then, all of a sudden I was on this dock with a lot of it around me.
Do you know what anxiety is? It’s that uneasy feeling when you think something bad is going to happen. One slip and there I go splish-splashing my way to an early death. This is how I go. I thought to myself.
Dramatic much? I’d say so, but life is boring without a little drama, am I right?
No?
Whatever then.
We got to the edge of the dock, the boat came around, and then it was time to contemplate whether I would be getting into the water. I was skeptical about it, but then I thought to myself why not? This is a good opportunity to learn a survival skill.
I mean come on, I’m a black guy who can’t swim. There’s no way I’m dying with that title. So, that reason alone was good enough for me. Then, I got handed a vest, took a look around, and noticed….. that no one else had vests on.
Alright, that's cool I wasn’t embarrassed or anything. I keeps’ it real.
Either vest or….death.
Therefore, I swiftly put on the vest and made my way _very _slowly into the water. Calculating each step like a soldier in a minefield. Then, I felt nothing at all. I assure you I didn’t freak out. At that point, I had to trust the vest and that was the first mental hurdle. Then I had to trust my mind and my body.
It’s not like I’ve never swam before— I actually used to swim all the time when I was younger—The problem is, I could only swim underwater. This is not an exaggeration. I cannot swim above water at all. So my body wasn’t used to the movements needed to swim above water correctly.
I needed to be taught, and fortunately, I had a great teacher. She taught me all the movements that I needed to swim forward. It was tough at first but she was right there with me making sure that I did them correctly. She made sure that I actually swam and didn’t flop my arms around like Sponge Bob and Patrick at the goo lagoon. After a while, the movements got a little easier and my body started to accept the fact that this is what I wanted it to do.
I wasn’t taking the vest off though.
During this impromptu swimming lesson, there were a couple of questions that I was asked a few times.
“Are you going to surf?”
“Are you going to wakeboard?”
Pardon me?
To be honest I did come into this trip thinking that I would give water sports a try. Until it was actually time to give it a try.
Remember that feeling we talked about earlier? Anxiety? It was back.
The difference this time was that I was looking forward to the challenge. I wanted to prove something to myself. So I actually agreed to give this a shot.
We took the boat out that same day and a couple of people surfed and wakeboarded. If you ever played sports, you know that there is something called mental reps. That's when you sit back, watch and visualize. So that's what I did. I watched and made note of every single movement that everyone performed. How they jumped in the water, how they adjusted their equipment, how they reacted when the boat started to move, etc. Every little thing that they did I wanted to mimic. Then it was my turn.
“Ok Trev it’s your turn now, are you ready?” I was asked.
“Is it really?” I answered reluctantly
“Yes”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Damn.”
Ok ok here we go, I guess it's time.
I wasn’t going to chicken out. I legit just learned how to swim and now I was about to try to surf. It sounds crazy I know. However, this was an opportunity for me. Surfing is something that I always wanted to try. I grew up watching Rocket Power. Can you blame me?
Again, I got handed a vest. This time was different. _This was the real deal_. My heart started to feel funny. Like it was about to jump out of my chest. I don’t know if I was anxious or excited. Maybe both.
After my vest was on I didn’t think about it. I figured that was the best way to calm me down. I just dropped myself in the water and I did it to try and mimic what it would be like when I wiped out. I submerged myself as violently as I could and water rushed up my nose. I swallowed some.
This isn’t so bad I thought to myself.
Then the instructions came.
“Alright Trev, the first thing you want to do is lean back. Then put both of your heels on the edge of the board with your toes pointed up!” The father shouted.
I thought that would be easy. Nope, that was hard. It took me about ten minutes just to do that, but I had step one complete.
“Ok, now you wanna grab the rope and make sure it is centered!”
That step was easier. I grabbed the rope and now I was ready to try. I gave the driver a thumbs up and the boat started to move. Then I started to move. Then the board started to move…from underneath me. I couldn’t keep my damn feet on the board long enough. It spun out every single time.
“I’m going to try and go slower this time! Make sure to press your feet down so that the board can attach to them.”
“Ok!” I answered
Here’s the problem: My legs weren’t used to that at all. My calves weren’t used to that at all. I had to press both of my feet down like I was stepping on a pedal. I know it sounds confusing but it’s really simple. I just hadn’t done it before. You needed to do this so that the board would attach to your feet. Then you could try to proceed to stand up.
I couldn’t even get the board to stay still, how could I get it to attach to my feet?
We spent the next 30 minutes trying to get me to do just that. Then we all realized, that I literally was not used to doing anything water-related. That wasn’t going to stop me though, I kept trying. That is until everyone had just about enough of me trying. Plus it was getting late, so we decided to head back in for the day.
To my surprise, everyone was supportive. Telling me that I did a pretty good job for someone who just learned how to swim. I appreciated that, but now I was hooked. I had to learn how to stand up before we left the lake.
I had to.
It was an opportunity that I had to seize. I really don’t know why I wanted to learn so badly. I think I needed to prove something to myself. How would I react to something that seemed almost impossible to do?
Safe to say I bought in.
When we got back to the cabin, we had dinner, and drinks and then went out to the patio. There, my friend's dad approached me to talk.
“That was a pretty solid job out there. That was your first time doing everything and you handled it well,” he said. “If you really want to improve, we are going out early in the morning to surf while no one is out there. You should come along to at least learn how to kneeboard. You’ll get used to the feeling of the water that way.”
“What time in the morning are y’all going?” I asked.
“We’ll have the boat ready by 6 am”
“Ok, I’ll be out there for sure.”
Lord knows I didn’t want to wake up at 5 am just to get my ass kicked by some water. I was the total opposite of a morning person, but it had to be done. As I mentioned, I really wanted to improve. So I set the alarm for the morning and tried to get some sleep.
It’s worth mentioning that I am the worst sleeper of all time.
It takes me so long to get to bed and that night was no different. I couldn’t sleep. It had nothing to do with what was going to happen in the morning. I just can’t go to sleep on command. (If you have any tips for sleeping comment below, I’m serious).
The hours were passing and I was tossing and turning. I looked at my phone and it read “1:15 am”. Then that's when I dozed off.
The alarm went off as soon as my lids shut. I woke up and my eyes were burning, I was crusty, and wondering if it was all worth it at this point. I hesitantly put on my swimsuit and dragged myself down to the dock. Waiting for me were the two men who were going to make my life hell for the next hour.
“There he is!” They said.
“Here I am.” I said unenthusiastically….
Then my body asked, “are you sure?”
So, I took a look around for a minute. Then I was ready.
“Let’s do this.”
The motor started and off we went. As we were on our journey, the sun started to peak just above the hills and it started to hit the water. It was a beautiful sight. At this point, I wasn’t upset that I got up early as hell anymore.
Then, we found the perfect spot.
Just where the sun hit the water. Peeking just above a hill. It was glistening in the valley.
What a sight to see.
I hopped in the water, grabbed the rope, gave the thumbs up, and off we went. I went right to my knees and just like that, I was kneeboarding. It was perfect.
Except that’s not what happened
This is what happened.
It was still a little dark out, but the sun did actually start to rise. I got on the boat and we started to drive. We found a nice spot where no other boats were coming or going. That’s when I realized why I had to get up so early— we needed calm waters. Mainly because boats cause waves. Waves cause wipeouts. Wipeouts cause pain.
We ended up finding just a regular spot. No glistening waters.
None of that dreamy stuff.
The boat was “parked” and once more, It was time to put on my vest. Again, as I started to put it on, my heart started to race a little bit. I don’t know if I was anxious or excited. Maybe both. After the vest was on I didn’t think about it. Like the day before, I just dropped myself In the water.
It felt surprisingly felt good.
My friend’s brother tossed me the board and I swam over to it. Then he tossed me the rope. After I grabbed the rope, the instructions were explained to me.
“Ok Trev, the first thing you’re gonna wanna do is put the rope in your hand and then put your upper body on the board. Then you’re gonna grab the top of the board with both of your hands.
Step 1: Put your upper body on the board and grab the top of the board with both your hands.
Done.
“Good, next grab the rope with both of your hands. When you do that we are going to start moving. When we start moving, let the boat pull you for a while. Then when you are ready, you’re going to pull yourself up, put one knee on the board and then try to put the other one on there. Then boom! You’re kneeboarding.”
I Immediately gave up in my head. There was no way I was going to be able to do all of that. That's impossible. When I gave up in my head, I gave up on the rep.
The boat started to move.
Step 2: Grab the rope with both of my hands. When we start moving, let the boat pull you for a while. Then when I’m ready, I’m going to pull mys-
I wiped out. I was too focused on the end result and not the task that was right in front of me. That made me lose focus and I fell right off the board. The worst part is that I held on to the rope while the boat was still moving. This resulted in the boat dragging me and a lot of water rushed up my nose. I reached the surface gasping for air and coughing. Then I just floated there— thinking about life and all my choices— Like how did I end up in Northern California with a bunch of water in my brain? At that moment I wanted to quit, but it just didn’t make sense. I already committed and I told myself that this is what it would take to reach my goal.
“Not bad but next time you know…let go of the rope when you wipe out.” The brother shouted.
“Yeah, I’ll try not to do that next time.”
I hit the water four more times after that. Blow after blow. Water entering my body. Water entering my brain(probably).
What the heck am I doing, this is ridiculous there’s no way. I thought to myself. On the sixth try, I decided to really focus. I had water in my brain and a shallow breath, but I was focused. I replayed all the steps in my head. I gave the thumbs up. Then I started mouthing:
Step 1: Put your upper body on the board and grab the top of the board with both your hands.
Check.
We started to move. I continued:
Step 2: Grab the rope with both of my hands. When we start moving, let the boat pull you for a while. Then when I’m ready-
I’m going to pull myself up.
As I was saying that, it started to happen. I pulled myself up then, I knee-boarded. I knee-boarded for about 5 seconds then wiped out. It wasn’t much but it was better than zero. My seconds would have increased had I continued practicing. However, the sun was just about out and more boats started to appear. We had to go.
The brother and the father congratulated me and I thanked them. I honestly thought I failed, but I was too naive to understand. (more on that later)
We walked back up to the house, had a snack, and sat down at the countertop. There, we waited for breakfast that was about to be served.
“I thought I could do better out there, I felt like I almost had it.”
“It’s ok that was good for your first time, you got to feel what it was like to ride the water for a bit. That was the most important thing. You are one step closer to surfing now.” Dad explained.
He was right I learned a lot, it was fun, and I did technically kneeboard. That’s something that I could build upon. That’s something that would make me better.
It was finally time for breakfast and everyone came to the living area. They told everyone that I knee-boarded. That made me feel good because yeah, I _technically_ did.
The next day we went out on the lake just to relax and chill. We had some drinks, and listened to music; it was a good time.
Then the day came. The day before we were supposed to leave. It felt like a championship game day. The air was crisp and warm against my skin. There were a few clouds in the sky and on the ground were little leaves that the breeze had blown.
Ok, I got carried away again. Sorry.
It honestly was just another normal day. Woke up, ate breakfast, and went down to the water to relax for a little bit. Drank, skipped some rocks, and talked. Everyone got bored of that so guess what we decided to do?
That’s right you guessed it. We decided to go surfing and everyone was coming. We all piled into the boat and went to find a good spot to start the session. Once we did, we stopped the boat, and then the big question was asked.
“Who’s up first?” Dad asked.
Crickets...
“I’ll go.”
The brother responded.
(You probably thought that was me at first. Admit it)
He put on his gear, got handed everything, and dropped into the water. He gave the thumbs up and we started to move. I watched all of his movements again. He made the whole process look easy. It was effortless.
That’s exactly what I wanted.
There was good wake (waves) and he surfed it easy. The driver tried to change speeds to throw him off. That didn’t matter, he owned the session.
While this was happening, I got asked the same questions again. However, this time was different— This time I had someone next to me who simply would not take no for an answer.
She arrived with her boyfriend a couple of days after everyone else. So naturally, she sits next right to me on the boat.
I think she could smell the fear or something. As soon as we were on our way she asked me.
“So are you going to surf or what?”
“I don’t know yet.” I replied
“You know you have to go right?”
“I-I think so?” I really wasn’t sure.
“Come on you’ll do fine you absolutely have—“
“Who’s next!?” Dad shouted.
“I’ll go!” She jumped at the chance.
“Listen I’m going to go now, so that means you have to go next.”
“Oh, brother.” I replied.
She had all her gear on at that point and was ready to drop into the water.
Before she dropped in, she looked back at me and said:
“You’re next.”
Then dropped straight into the water.
I really couldn’t back down now. I let this woman (whom I just met) peer pressure me. I Can’t lie it worked. I wanted to go. There was still some reluctance but not much. She put the thumbs up and we started to move. I watched as she got ready, pulled herself up, and started to surf. She wasn’t as good as the brother, but she was standing up and surfing. When she wiped out, she shook it off and went for another spin. This time, she was up for a while. Wobbling side to side with her arms out as the boat created different waves. The wobbles started to get out of control and then her body hit the water. As soon as she emerged from the water, I heard my name.
“Trev’s next! Trev’s next! Trev’s next!”
She hyped me up.
“So are you next?” The dad asked.
“I’m next.”
It was finally time. Everything that I had done, led up to this moment right here. I didn’t even notice at the time. I was just ready to go. The more I thought about it, the more resistance built up. So after I got handed my vest, I dropped right in. That way I had no choice but to give it a shot.
I remember just floating there with my vest on. Once again, thinking about my life choices. Seriously how did I let this woman peer pressure me?
It was too late now. I committed, and there was no turning back.
The brother walked to the stern, leaned over, and said:
“Alright buddy this is it, here’s your chance. Remember everything you did over the past few days. That was essentially your training.”
Talk about no pressure.
This time I wasn’t anxious or excited. I just had this stoic gaze. I knew that this was going to be the toughest test yet. I Knew that I would wipe out a gazillion times. I just couldn’t be afraid. As I mentioned before, I really wanted to do this.
I got tossed the rope and the board for the last time. I didn’t think too much, my mind was wiped. I grabbed the board and then the rope. I put my heels on the edge of the board with my toes pointed up. Just like they told me the first time. Then I gave the thumbs and we started to move. Then I started to move. The board proceeded to move…from underneath me. It was just like what happened before.
Here we go again
I was actually discouraged this time. I thought that I was ready. All that work seemed like it was for nothing.
“That's ok Trev, just remember what we talked about!” The brother shouted. “You got this bro!”
He’s right, I got this. I thought to myself. I’ve practiced more than enough_
I gave the thumbs up again.
The boat started to move and it happened again….and then one more time. I couldn’t believe it. I was actually choking. Like LeBron against the Mavericks in 2011.
Low blow I know.
However, if you think that was going to get me to stop, then you are mistaken. I quickly grabbed the board. Took a deep breath and gave the thumbs up again. The boat started to move and I got the board to cooperate for a while. All I had to do was pull myself up. I tried to yolk myself up with the strength I had.
That was a mistake. My legs buckled and I fell face-first into the water. I wiped out a lot during those two days, but this felt like no return. I was underwater for a while— living an actual nightmare. Luckily the vest stayed on and surfaced. Coughing and gasping for air but once again still determined to make it happen.
I swam very gingerly to the board.
“Trev! You ok??” The brother yelled.
“I’m good! Let’s go again!” I responded.
“Alright, listen I know you’re strong, but you’re not stronger than the boat. You gotta use the momentum of the boat to pull yourself up. Let the boat do the work for you.”
Once again I had to trust. Just as a did with the vest before, now it was time for the boat. I realized that my past failures had a lot to do with me not trusting the boat. Then it clicked in my head that this was the final step.
Just one more trust test and then I would be good.
My thumb went up once more and we started to move.
Trust the boat. Trust the boat. I thought to myself.
The concept itself seemed pretty simple. Don’t do anything and just let the boat pull you up. Very straightforward, one would think. It was anything but that. I proceeded to wipe out about three more times. Once again I really wanted to give up. I thought I reached my limit, and this was the cap of what I could do with my skill level. However once again, it didn’t make sense to not try again.
I was at the final part and I could see the destination. All I had to do was stand up, even if it was for half a second. It had to be done. After those wipeouts, everyone was still urging me along. As I surfaced from underneath the water, I remember putting one finger in the air. Then I shouted:
one more, give me one more!
The driver agreed and we started to move again. At this point, everything had literally been beaten into my system. I knew all the steps and I was confident that I could perform them.
I was in the zone, and I know it because the boat was a blur. All I could see was the rope, the water rising beside me, and the board gently sliding its way through it. My senses somehow changed, in the distance, I heard shouting but I couldn’t make out what they were saying, I just knew that they were shouting for me.
I let myself get a feel for the water. It was the longest time I had done so the entire trip.
Then it was time to put it all together. All the fears were gone by that point. I just had to act.
Alright, you got this I told myself. It was a mental battle that I had to win.
The boat pulled me for about 15 seconds, then I decided to act. I went through every single step in my mind. All of a sudden I found myself up on this board for about three to four seconds.
That’s it.
It wasn’t a long time at all. It was the fact that I was actually able to stand up on this thing. It took about 3 days but persistence and belief were enough to get me through.
I knew that I did something special. When we got back to the house, I was congratulated by everyone. The boyfriend of the woman who I met was blown away.
“As a former baseball player that was inspiring.” He said. “If I had eight other guys on my team with that attitude, we’d never lose.”
Then that's when it hit me. It wasn’t the fact that I couldn’t surf like those before me. It was the fact that I had taken those steps to try to learn. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but that’s what I needed to succeed. I put my mind to something and tossed the fear I had in the garbage.
I tell this story to help those who may be struggling to finish things that they want to get done. If you take a look at the end result instead of breaking it down into different sections, it may seem like a lost cause.
There is a name for this process. It is called chunking.
That’s where willpower comes in. It is that little extra to help you power through all the way to the finish. You cannot eat it all in one bite. You have to take pieces and eat those. Once you keep doing that, you’re going to look up and realize that you’re done. Once you’re done, no one can take away the fact that you have accomplished something that you set your mind to. That in itself holds tremendous value.
However, willpower alone will not help you. It is the belief combined with the effort that propels you. It is the want, and what I wanted was to learn how to surf. So I took the necessary steps, and If we didn’t have to leave, I would have been out there until I was surfing like a pro.
I hope this story resonated with you. If you made it to this point, you have already demonstrated willpower.
Thank you, and as always stay true. It’s ok to be you.
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