It was a beautiful spring day in the city, and I again decided to go out to soak it all in. The destination was Bryant Park. It's one of my favorite spots when I want a little taste of nature. Central Park is ideal for that, but Bryant Park has the Public Library next to it.
If you've ever been there, you'd know it's in the middle of the city (unlike Central Park). What makes it unique is the different types of buildings and architecture surrounding it.
My favorites are the shadows stretching across the grass, casting a distinctive silhouette and making those complex buildings look very simple.
When I arrived, I scanned the area to find a table. I spotted one right in front of a couple of plants and flowers. It seemed too good to be true, so I took another look around. The coast was clear, and it felt like an actual main-character moment. I sat down, opened my bag, and took out a book. Then something peculiar happened.
While reading, two older ladies walked over and sat directly ahead of me at the table. My AirPods were in, and I lifted my watch to check the time. Then the music stopped playing. I don't know why this happens; it's very annoying. Does this happen to you as well? Who do I have to contact about this?
Apple probably.
Anyway, I could overhear their conversation through the excruciating pain of no music. However, I only picked up one woman saying, "I know, and I'm only 50."
I'm only 50? I thought to myself. Here I am in my 20s TWENTIES, thinking that I should already have life figured out. I felt that I, myself, was old. Then I told myself, no, my friend, you are not old. You are young, very young, and are just starting this thing called life. There Is much room to grow and many things left to learn and experience. You can improve in areas that you want to. If you are younger than 50, you can tell yourself the same. There is no shade for anyone 50 and above. We love you.
To improve, you must understand that you still have much to learn and experience. That is crucial because it gives us room to move forward. We have to accept the fact that we hardly know anything. That way, you can seek the proper knowledge and get better at things you want. A "know-it-all" has no room to improve, stunting growth.
Now, back to the park.
The book in my hands was Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It was fitting because the chapter I was reading was titled "Always Stay a Student." That is the inspiration behind this post because it makes sense. Your ego will have you believing that you know everything already. That attitude is destructive. He specifically states, "to pretend we already know everything. That's the worry and the risk—thinking that we're set and secure when, in reality, understanding and mastery is a fluid continual process."
Robert Greene, in Mastery, states, "To negate the ego, you must adopt a kind of humility toward knowledge." You have to keep learning. The reason is that your ego seeks to keep you where you are. It will make you believe everything is fine even when you know it is not. It will tell you that you shouldn't venture out to improve or explore yourself when you know that is what you should be doing. The ego hates the unknown because that's where the discomfort lies. The unknown is where you must go if you're on this journey. Think of It this way: you are shedding your old self.
You're leaving behind all those familiar things, which will create discomfort. The Ego hates discomfort. To illustrate this further, Steven Pressfield discussed the ego in his book The War of Art. He specifically states, "The Ego doesn't want us to evolve. The ego runs the show right now. It likes things the way they are…..the ego hates this because the more awake we become, the less we need the ego. Will Storr, the author of The Science of Storytelling, puts it this way:
"Identifying and accepting our flaws, and then changing who we are, means breaking down the very structure of our reality before rebuilding it in a new and improved form. This is not easy. It's painful and disturbing. We'll often fight with all we have to resist this kind of profound change. This is why we call those who manage it 'heroes".
The ego is part of that resistance. It would be best to shatter it. Going back and becoming stagnant is not an option. Holiday says, "No matter what you've done up to this point, you better still be a student. If you're not still learning, you're already dying."
You're too young to be already dying. There's a life out there to live. Why not continue to nurture yourself and grow? That makes a life worth living. I'm not preaching here. I want to help those who want it. At one time, I knew I needed it.
You have to accept the fact that you don't know. The initial resistance is being afraid of looking foolish. Would you instead take that two-second feeling without knowing? Or is it better for you to ask questions and gain knowledge? Ask yourself this the next time the opportunity presents itself. Think about where you want to go and what that looks like; sometimes, that requires becoming uncomfortable.
So continue to learn and take care of yourself, my friend. You'll start to become the person you want to be. After all, who knows you better than you? Stay true. It's ok to be you.
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